Someone who Believes in Your Child
“Why can’t you behave just like Janet?!!
Janet does whatever her mother asks and eats everything her mother makes!”
I grew up convinced I’d never be as good as Janet.
Never earn all perfect grades. Never be meticulously organized. Never comply as expected.
I held onto that belief as I travelled through grade school into university.
It was my second year of university.
Seated near the back of a lecture hall, busting with over 300 third- and fourth-year students. Professor Sussman called out, “who came to visit me during office hours with a copy of a children’s resource book that featured some animal behaviour concepts I’ve lectured on?”
Not only did the professor remember me, he acknowledged me for being the only student who took initiative on his ‘think outside the box’ assignment.
As long as you showed evidence for applying lessons outside of class, you earned full marks for 10% of the course.
Have you ever recalled a memory with vivid details?
Perhaps we’re meant to remember those memories for a life lesson, intended to alter the path of our fate.
I never forgot the first person who believed in me.
You could call him Professor Sussman, Dr. Sussman or Paul.
But not Mr. Sussman. That was his dad. :)
Professor Sussman was my first mentor.
Two years later, I searched for an advisor to complete an independent study with.
Can you believe I planned to apply for grad school?
The girl who wasn’t just like Janet?
I approached the professor with, “You once voiced a thought during a lecture. If we humans can figure out how amphibians regenerate their central nervous system, perhaps one day we can figure out how to regenerate our CNS. I’d like to research that idea, with your guidance.”
Quick aside.
Even for a graduate school thesis or research project, no professor would take on a student who didn’t have an outline, detailing precisely what they planned to do.
Only a mentor who believes in you would advise you through an unplanned project, until it was worth the top score possible.
My research began the summer before our project officially began.
I spent months pouring through medical journals to study and compare the central nervous system of amphibians, mammals and humans.
Unlike me, the target readers had mastered anatomy and physiology. They were familiar with the medical jargon sprinkled throughout the journals.
Come September, we met every couple of weeks. I revealed my latest findings and mentor Sussman crafted suggestions to pursue.
For the first couple months, I had no specific purpose to prove or disprove.
The aha discovery!
I came across an article describing the central nervous system trade-off. Progressing up the phylogenetic tree, from simple creatures like amphibians to more complex mammals to humans -animals sacrifice learning for the ability to regenerate their CNS.
The inspiration for my specific purpose.
With the bulk of research supporting the trade-off between using the CNS to regenerate, my focus shifted to collecting research that supported using the CNS to learn.
Upon completing the written project, it met approval from the head of the psychology department, along with its 9 out of 9 grade.
Because mentor Sussman believed in my ability -I’d devoted more blood, sweat and tears than I’d shed during any other undergraduate course.
He also taught me to believe in myself.
To notice how I persevere to master what’s difficult. How I customize strategies to overcome challenges. And problem solve solutions by expanding my perspective.
Most important.
Mentor Sussman inspired me to stop comparing what my brain makes harder to accomplish with perfect ‘Janets’ whose brains appear to achieve with ease.
Perhaps that’s why I enjoy mentoring kids and teens whose brains don’t make it easy to speak with confidence or communicate clearly.
Who’s going to support them when learning to use speaking techniques is difficult?
To encourage them through years of practice to carry over skills into high pressure situations?
Someone who believes in them.